These just got sent to me today ... and boy, are some of them true! I've heard quite a few of these lines coming from people while at a show ... and possibly one or two from myself! haha :)
- "That fence is WAY over the max height" - using the incredibly accurate measuring scale of 'my own leg' this fence is bordering on being a little on the large side
- "I'm not competitive" - I'd eat you for a rosette
- "I'm REALLY not competitive" - You and the horse!
- "I'm not that nervous" - I'm bricking it
- "I'm not at all nervous" - We are going to need a shot of whiskey and a valium
- "The stride is really long" - Person walking it was probably really short
- "The stride is really short" - Person walking it was probably really tall
- "There are three strides in the double" - Person walking it may have had too much human calmer
- "I'm not going for speed" - Watch me gallop
- "They are all looking at that filler" - All the riders are looking at that filler
- "The time is very generous" - Horse is a bit fast for optimum time
- "The time is very tight" - Horse is slow
- "It wasn't THAT bad" - Please sweet baby Jesus don't let me go in and do the same
- "I'm pretty sure I know my test" - Enter at A, at C turn ... left? Right? ... Fook!..
- "Sure what's the worst that could happen?" - Please don't let me get bucked off again
- "I'd rather have had 4 faults and a nice round than an awful clear" - I'd rather have had a nice clear round
- "The judge is lovely!" - At least the comments will be phrased nicely
- "He is just a bit green" - He is old enough to know better and I am fit to throttle him for behaving like a four year old
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